I’m having “a moment” today with scattered thoughts that must be somehow related, but they’re not coming together so I’m going to pull a @TheJackB and write anyways.
I had a conversation with Stan Faryna via email this week and he asked me what I wanted out of social media, esp. Triberr. Any answer I’d give would be made up because I just don’t have one. All I can say is I started using social media last year, gave it up for a few days when I wasn’t sure about it, and came back and haven’t left since. I’ve felt led and guided to a group of people who I feel very close to. I feel like I’m in the right place at the right time for me. But I didn’t plan a bit of it. And there are days where I feel like I’m going in circles!
All I ever really wanted from Facebook was a fun conversation. I got that as long as I participated.
From Twitter I wanted to learn from genealogists how to spread the word about family history. I got that and a lot more.
Triberr makes me nervous because my plate is pretty full, but mostly I don’t want to just “use” the system. I want to grow relationships and to do that I must have time to get to know the people in the tribe by reading their blogs.
So it’s 6am and I’m driving back over the Merrimack River into Hudson to wake up my children for school and I’m thinking again. First I chuckle about the 3 teenagers I just dropped off who’ll study the Old Testament this school year from 6-6:45am every day before school. They made me laugh singing to Country music and then Bruno Mars. They’re so happy. I kidded with them as they left the car saying,”Go be spiritual”, and they grunted back. Not everyone is a morning person. But they’re exceptional kids.
Then I start thinking about Kindergarten. Yup. I remembered the first feelings of awkwardness as we got to know each other and get the hang of the rules of school and friendship. My teacher freaked me out when she passed around a plate of mushrooms for all of us to try. I’d never tried one and I really didn’t like being forced! I probably didn’t eat one. So school was about new people and new things. The experience I’d have would be mostly up to me. I’d either be asked to play, invite someone to play with me, or I’d hang out by myself.
The thoughts of my childhood friends morphed into thoughts of my online friendships. I consider my new friends to be my online “Kindergarten” friends, figuring out the rules of a new territory away from home, having fun and deepening friendships along the way.
Every day I wake up at 4am (I go to bed wicked early) and start “playing”. I read blogs and fill my mind with good thoughts that my friends have taken time to write and publish. Sometimes I’ll comment. Well, most times if truth be told! There are days when I have a story from my family history that controls my brain until it’s written. On those mornings I can’t read as much. Mostly I’m getting to know the author of the blog better. There are a lot of blogs out there. I can’t read them all. I’m sticking to the ones I’ve found for now. I’d rather go deep than wide if you know what I mean.
Which brings me back to why I’m online at all. I could continue to work close to home, helping one person at a time with their family history. That’s what I was doing. But why settle for that when I could be much more efficient and reach a few more people online? I try to remember that that’s my main goal when I’m online. For me it’s payback for every bit of help my family has received over the years. It’s something that I love to do that brings huge value to a person’s life.
So maybe I can pull all these thoughts together. This is what I’m learning:
- Take the opportunities that life offers to meet new people and try new things.
- Remember who you are and what you have to offer.
- Take the time to get to know others the way you want them to get to know you.
- Friendships ARE the spice of life. There may be 7+billion people roaming the Earth, but each life will intersect with only a few. Make the most of those few.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
Now let me help you start your family history. Just kidding!
silentleaves 
Kaarina Dillabough (@KDillabough)
September 8, 2011
Betsy, they say all things happen for a reason, and there are no coincidences in life. It appears to be no coincidence that I’m reading your post today as I’m wrestling with the whole “online” thing. Based on some happenings in the last week, I’m re-evaluating the “why”…why am I spending so much time online?
Let me back up a little. Back in February, I decided to become a full-time student of social media. I taught myself from the ground up, and started blogging for the simple goal of stopping my self-editing propensity. Mission accomplished.
But now I’m finding myself in a bit of a quandary. I spend far more time reading others’ blogs and crafting what I hope are thoughtful comments. I listen to podcasts, webcasts, webinars and training ’til it all starts sounding the same. I engage in debate about the preferred commenting tools, widgets, gadgets and doodahs until I just want a quill pen and paper. All to the detriment of my own blog and business.
So, it’s simply time to hunker down, reevaluate, cull and pare down. I’m thankful for the many friends I’ve met online, and who I hope to keep in contact with. But some things will have to go, to make room for new directions. Hey…I might just have my new blog post! Great post: great food for thought. Cheers! Kaarina
Betsy Cross
September 8, 2011
I’m with you Kaarina! I was talking to my husband this morning about reading and learning, making new friends and figuring out how it all worked together. I’m seeing today that every time I read a “How To” on social media and business online I feel overwhelmed. So, I’m going to risk just being me and write and visit what and who interests me. I think it’s time to do more than learn “how” and start doing “it”no matter what. You know what I mean? I love seeing you around. And commenting has helped me learn more about you. But I agree it can suck up valuable time. I’m with you on culling and paring down! Thanks Kaarina!
Kaarina Dillabough (@KDillabough)
September 8, 2011
Your post actually inspired me to change my post for today, and I’m writing it “as we speak”. I love your line: “I’m going to risk just being me and write and visit what and who interests me”. Wiser words were never spoken. Now back to writing my post: you’re the inspiration today! Cheers! Kaarina
Betsy Cross
September 8, 2011
Kaarina, I hope you post it to Twitter! I’ll go subscribe so I can read it later! Good luck.
Adam Sokoloff
September 12, 2011
Hi Betsy, nice post! What I love about social media is the ability for someone like me, who might be a little shy in the beginning and take some time to warm up, to have the ability to just reach out and say…hi Betsy! You can say hi back, and we might even learn about each other. You might also ignore my salutation, which I hope you wouldn’t, and I would just move on from there.
Great stopping by to say hi! -Adam
Betsy Cross
September 12, 2011
Hey Adam,
I call it the “drop and run” hello! Funny! It does take time to get to know someone online. I’ve witnessed the power of words over time and learned that they really do tell you a lot about a person. I didn’t think that was possible at first and that was why I shied away from social media. I thought it would be easy to be deceived.
Have a great day Adam!
Betsy